Our Lives

2009-05-14T20:03:00.003-04:00

Sienna walking some video for everyone, I havent posted in awhile. Life is hectic with school, my husband traveling weekly, and raising an almost one year old! She is walking, growing changing by the minute! She can find her ears, eyes, belly button, toes, and foot. She will pretend to wash her hands to tell you she wants to wash her hands, she sticks out her tongue as noted in the photo! She claps, she waves bye/hi, she puts her hands on her ears when you say Oh no!, she loves peek a boo and she is a blast to be around. No I am not bragging, I am just tired of reciting what my child can do to everyone that asks, so I figure I can direct them to my blog and they can get all the answers here! :) She is almost one and I can't believe how time flies! I am so blessed to have this little girl in my life! I never knew why parents talked about their kids all the time, or understood unconditional love the way I do with Sienna. I feel sad for some people who may never know what this feels like, but commend people who say they don't want kids and don't have them. There are enough unwanted children in this world, and if your heart truly doesn't want children then you should be given an award for saying it out loud in a society that can sometimes be harsh and judgemental towards that lifestyle.

Spaghetti Fun

2009-03-19T20:34:00.003-04:00

Sienna had spaghetti for the first time and it was a big mess, but she LOVED it and had tons of fun. I wish I could have that much fun just eating spaghetti. What I love about watching Sienna grow, is the fact that new experiences, no matter how messy they are, are so much fun for them. She can just enjoy things in a way that we as adults no longer do... The only worries she has currently is "Where did Mommy go?" and could someone change me please... It's too bad we can't remember being a baby filled with so much curiosity, vivid imaginations, and the absolute love for the most simplest of things.. like the newspaper, or a box...

For my husband

2009-03-02T15:11:00.003-05:00

Sienna's new thing! enjoy babe

A day at the beach

2009-03-01T19:26:00.004-05:00

Sienna had her first experience of the beach, with many more to come! We are "water" people in this house, and truth be told - Sienna will probably be on a surf board rather young! She LOVED the pool, the ocean, ummm the sand on her hands NOT SO MUCH! -Looks like she might be like her momma, I HATE the damn sand, it always manages to get into every crevice of your body, every crevice in your beach bag, cooler and it seems like weeks later you still find sand in your car, even though you have vacuumed it twice! She was a hoot in her raft in the pool, smiling and kicking away, and she did great sleeping away from home! It was a MUCH needed mini vacation for our family! Now Phillip has flown back to VA to where I believe it's snowing.. brr... pictures are attached! Enjoy.

A day at the park

2009-02-11T22:44:00.000-05:00

So we went to the park today in this beautiful 78 degree weather! Love the Florida climate when it's like this! Sienna had a blast, she loved the swings, trying to climb the stairs (SLOW down, your only 7 months!), wanted to play in the dirt.. sorry baby not this time... and she just had a blast! Here are some pics from our mini adventure! Watching her grow so fast is exciting, scary, and so much fun. She is really starting to show her personality now and is all laughter and babble! I have a feeling when she starts to talk she will not stop! She is such a joy to be around, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Just Because

2009-01-29T21:52:00.001-05:00

Hopeful

2009-01-20T19:16:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it. I am so amazed. I was in Orlando in Oct. with my daughter, my mom, and my step dad we were at the Obama and Hillary rally in Orlando with so much hope and belief that this day could actually be possible. I didn't believe that we would actually get here, I was pessimistic... I thought that once again the vision of the same would defeat the vision of hope and change.

I watched today proudly.Obama's speech brought tears to my eyes, as I watched with my 7 month old daughter, I can now tell her she was there when the first African American took office, we were at the rally before the vote, and we voted together.

I feel inspired, and hopeful and if you know me at all, it takes a lot for me to feel that way. On this day I am proud to call myself an American. The next 4 years won't be easy but at least there will be a man in power who is young, and truly wants to inspire America to be the best that it can.

What was I thinking?

2009-01-18T21:12:00.000-05:00

I am back in school AGAIN. What was I thinking? I am trying to write a paper, which frankly I could care less about... I need some type of motivation. Could it be Sienna, or my dear husband? Or the fact that I will feel accomplished and have more career opportunities? I hate getting back into the groove of writing papers, studying, reading, and constantly having classes on the brain. So why did I go back to school you ask? Because I will forever be non committal on choosing a career... permanence of a "job" is scary to me. I am not one that handles "the same" all the time for the next 30 years very well. I love the health care industry but it BURNS you out, unless you work in a doctor's office then it becomes extremely BORING. So what's a gal to do? I thought about teaching, getting a master's and becoming a Nurse Practitioner, maybe psychology.. but who wants to listen to people whine all day...

I am just bitching right now, throwing a tantrum like a 6 year old child who just has to have that toy on the shelf. I will stop procrastinating and write the paper, read the chapters, and get an A in all my classes like always... but for tonight, I am throwing up my hands, stomping my feet and protesting myself! Just choose a career and be happy!! It seems everyone else can do it so why can't I??

Gymboree and Stuff

2009-01-15T19:48:00.000-05:00

Sienna and I went to a stage 2 (6 months up to 10 months) gymboree class today. She had a blast, I was nervous that she would hear the loud lady singing, or the crazy 11 month old screaming, look at me and start screaming to get the heck out of there! Much to my surprise she loved it, I mean she crawled through all the tunnels, climbed the stairs, laughed when the instructor sang and danced, and loved seeing other little people just like her. Please excuse my bad grammar and punctuations which is the least of my concern especially since this semester all I will be doing is writing paper after paper the last thing I want to do now is worry about my blog being perfect!

I had an moment in the gymboree class when I looked around at all the parents and thought just for a minute "Wow, this is really my life now" It's all about Sienna as I am sure you can tell from my blog..... oops.

Well Sienna did great and it is now a weekly routine every Thursday. Taking classes and being a mom is tough, the only time to really get anything done is when she's asleep, and going to bed "early" is out of the question anymore... so late nights and early mornings are my life for the next 16weeks! What fun!!

Sienna's New Trick

2009-01-08T09:49:00.001-05:00

So, I woke up at 3 am to Sienna laughing away on the baby monitor, I went in her room and to my surprise she was standing up in her crib. It is pitch black in her room so when I turned the light on, I about had a heart attack to find her in that position! Of course, my husband is out of town, so I don't have any clue on how to lower the crib.... guess I should google it!

Now this is all she wants to do, this is how I found her after her morning nap, thankfully I had the video camara prepared in my hand and ready to go just in case I needed it!

2009-01-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

When my husband took his new job we new traveling would be part of the package. The first month he was gone every week.. it was an adjustment, but we just kept reminding ourselves of the "bigger" picture. Then after that first month he worked remotely from home for about 2-3 months. We were both shocked and amazed that we weren't at each others throats 24/7. It wasn't too bad having him here all the time, he got to see Sienna a lot more, and he was here to help me when I needed it.

Those days are gone, he is gone this week and looks like his next client he is working for is a pretty big job and he will be gone for what looks like a lot in the months to come. I am back in school and fortunate enough not to be working right now. I can't tell you the respect I have gained for single working moms. Being with Sienna 24/7 is wonderful, but I no longer have anyone to help me, just take her for 5 minutes so I can have a break, and not worry about her crawling on the tile and hitting her head.

I just wanted to write this and express how much admiration I have for women who do it all on their own. Work, raise a child, pay their bills with no outside help. It is a thankless job being a mom sometimes, but if you are a single parent it is truely a thankless job because no one is there to tell you thank you for whatever it is you do that day.

I can't imagine life without my husband in it, and wouldn't even want to. So I want to say thankyou to Phillip for his love and support, and always there when I need him. He works hard as a data consultant and he provides very well for his family (while his non-committal wife works on yet another degree).

Somehow I lost myself?

2008-12-29T22:20:00.001-05:00

When did this happen to me??

Who would have thought that my daily concerns would ever be, how many times did Sienna poop, what color were they, hard of soft? When the moment came and she rolled over, the excitement that took over my mind and body was as if I just bought a brand new home or got a masters degree.... I always wondered why my friends with children were so "consumed" with talking about their kids achievements, I swore I would never be that person.

Have I become "uncool"? I remember when going to the beach to go surfing and have some afternoon drinks was the best way to spend a Saturday... every month going to a concert or traveling to the keys was the way to live it up... Now it's become a world of what family member will we spend time with, let's go to the park, is Sienna having a good day or bad day... "look at what Sienna did today" our lives have become all about this precious gift... I don't even remember the last time I went out for a girls night out, a pedicure, to a Magic game, watched my favorite college football team for an entire game, bought something just for me... and what boggles my mind the most is that I don't care.

When did this happen to me? Somewhere between the beginning of the pregnancy up to now, I have lost myself to this baby girl.... I have slowly begun to see it, now that the around the clock middle of the night breast feedings have come to an end, the crying spells in the the afternoon have turned to spells of laughter and play time, the not being able to go anywhere without her because breastfed babies feed every 2 hours... and now that she is on solids and can drink from a cup leaving her with my husband to go grocery shopping or run errands isn't impossible. She consumes my daily thoughts and I wouldn't change it for the world.. but I can't lose my identity, I won't allow this to happen to me. I have to still manage to be me and a mom, not just a mom.

I feel much better putting this out into the world, now I have written it, I know what to do. I will be the best mom, wife, daughter but I will not lose that individuality that I gained in my 30 years of life... I will vow to still travel, it will be different, but it must be done. I will still go to concerts and scope out the basement bands at our favorite hole in the wall bar... I will still find me time with my girlfriends and while doing all of those things I know all the while Sienna will be in my head, she is my first thought in the morning and my last thought before bed and I wouldn't change it for all the great waves to catch, trips to Europe, or all the money in the world.

Being a mom

2008-12-29T21:38:00.000-05:00

So, I have always made fun of people who blogged. I thought who in the world has that much time on their hands to sit and post daily or even weekly?? And how arrogant of someone to think that what they have to say will be read and followed by hundreds of people in the vast space of the Internet. Well, I guess I am now a hypocrite.

There is nothing on this earth that can compare to being a mom. No one will ever understand it until it happens to them. I remember being out at restaurants or even movies and thinking to myself "Shut that kid up" Why on earth are they out with their baby, if all it's doing is crying??

Well now I get it. If everyone that had children stayed home, there would be a spike in murder/suicides across the country. Yes, I said it. As parents you have to get out of the house, even if it might involve public screaming, and those single people who are so jaded and have no clue what unconditional love means and never will until they experience having a child... give you those glares, or look at you and roll their eyes... I feel sad for them. I never wanted kids... or so I thought, then I met the right person, fell in love, got married, and here I am 4 yrs later with a daughter.

To all you single people (when I say single, I mean those of you without kids) enjoy the time you have, don't be so quick to judge parents who are out of the house with their screaming kids, yes some places are totally inappropriate to bring children... and I too shake my head when I see someone out at 3am with their child... But for the most part kids will be kids, you were once that screaming child, while your parents tried to console you and received the death stare, one day you will have children (if you want them that is) and then maybe, you just might have a deeper understanding of what it takes to truly sacrifice for someone else, what unconditional love really means, and that life didn't really start to begin until your child came into your life.